Willy - bold

Issaiha - italics

My relationship with mirrors has always been troublesome

The constant questions of identity tend to always swarm through my mind but honestly

I don’t know.

I’m not sure if I myself hold honor or if I move simply as an imposter.

How can I feel comfortable when I’m in an endless cycle of misunderstanding

How can I evolve when growth

seems impossible

I’ve found that knowing thyself is a bit difficult when loving thyself is oblivious

And moments when I don’t feel like myself are starting to get continuous

The shifting of my focal point makes it so that I am unable to truly understand who and what I am

So instead, I shed

Shed when the stagnation of self-doubt appears

My emotions rise or subside to the extent that confusion ensues

Becoming anew whenever the mirror begins to bring inconvenience.

I used to think shedding the skin gifted to me;

crafted delicately and intricately to house a spirit otherwise unconfined,

mirrored an inconsistent expression of gratitude.

mirrored embarrassment,

disregard.

Until I looked at you, young spirit of mine.

As I trace my fingertips along photographs of your blissful innocence,

I remember the feeling.

the fear pinning me to an identity that I was actively learning as a way to service,

to comfort,

to ease the pre-programmed hearts and minds that gave me love and wisdom.

I never would have thought,

in a million years,

through a million tears,

that I’d shed and see myself more clearly.

as I peak through windows of my childhood,

I see absorption, uninterrupted.

unfiltered.

blissful absorption, learning, attachment adorned in hopefulness.

I also see the act of shedding before he goes to school.

Shedding all layers that resemble beauty,

shedding glittering adventure,

and praying for rougher skin to appear.

Now I stand,

with sheddings happily dancing around the soles of my feet.

renewal creates a new horizon,

one where we both exist in the skin of our own internal prayer.

Young one,

you’ve had permission to shed all along,

One day it will make you proud.